Welcome to Othlestled (Part 1)

Click on images to expand. Enjoy!
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Events of the 5th of Felsite
Late-Spring of y.129

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, POINTLESS?" The angry dwarf woman's voice boomed throughout the hallway, making a few scribes drop the piles of documents they were carrying. No one saw the dwarf enter the Chief Architect's office, but everyone could hear her; already a small crowd had formed around the door, listening intently.

A few muffled words were spoken, which none could hear. "FINE," came the she-dwarf's voice, "I'LL BUILD THE DAMNED RESORT MYSELF, WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR HELP." The door swung open, knocking a few of the listeners down, and the shouting dwarf stormed out, mumbling about incompetent bureaucrats and the kingdom's lack of vision.

"Be reasonable!" The Chief Architect called out to the angry dwarf. "You'll only get yourself killed!" The angry dwarf simply flipped him the bird before walking out of sight. The architect sighed and went back to his business. Seriously, a beach-side resort? This was way above his non-existent pay grade. That mad miner wouldn't go through with it... would she? Nah, it would be pointless, and way too dangerous.


Journal of Kayla Melbilmerseth, 7th of Felsite
Late-Spring of y.129

Dangerous my ass! Don't they see the benefits of being the first and ONLY outpost dedicated to tourism? In this world where goblins sack entire fortresses almost daily basically never, where monstrosities roam the land freely the travelled roads are mostly safe, don't the civilised people of this world deserve to have a place where they can simply relax? I'm not asking the kingdom to just donate luxury accommodations, either; can't they see what this will do to our relationship with neighbouring lands? Not to mention the gold this will bring in!

I confided with Meat about my plans, and HE thinks we'd be able to do it. I even marked out on a map where we could go:

Right in the middle of the Realms of Enchantment, bordering the Gulf of Ghosts. Doesn't that sound like a nice, friendly, whimsical name?

Without approval, however, how will I get the dwarfpower to go through with

You know what, I don't care what the Chief Architect says. Or the Minister of Relocation and Expansion. Let the cowards stagnate. They can take their opinions and shove them. I can still hear their voices, their sneering and pessimistic voices:

They know jack shit! okay, to be fair they do have much more experience than I in making outposts and they may know what they're talking about I know we can do it, and we'll have the greatest (and first) resort the world has ever seen! Tomorrow, Meat and I will gather whichever dwarves we can find, and we'll set out. I heard the tavern is full of suckers adventurous dwarves seeking to push the frontier.


Events of the 14th of Malachite
Mid-Summer of y.129

The caravan rolled uncontrollably downhill, finally coming to a stop against a boulder. And by coming to a stop, I mean crashing violently. Axles broke, spokes were sundered, and it was clear to the small company running after the runaway vehicle that they wouldn't be moving it anymore.

The expedition leader, Kayla, stood over the remains of what amounted to her life savings. Together with Meat, a stoneworker, they had convinced five other dwarves to join them on this adventure, and what would they have to show for it?

That night, over a meagre fire, they entertained the notion of remaining there. At first they were distraught, but soon enough everyone started pitching ideas. Drunk on booze and mounting excitement, they "officially" claimed the land to be their own. Now, all that was left was naming it. Akhanyatin - a dishonourably-discharged axedwarf (something to do with elves, he never elaborated)  - drunkenly made an extremely crude joke about human women chests and high body temperature. Despite Kayla's objection, the other dwarves, drunk out of their minds, loved it, and were inspired to baptise the site:

Thus, Othlestled, "Scorchedracks" in the common tongue, was founded.


Journal of Kayla Melbilmerseth, 18th of Malachite
Mid-Summer of y.129

Welcome to the puckered sphincter of nowhere!

I've immediately ordered some trees chopped down and some berries gathered as soon as the sun came up until I finished digging us a small burrow where we can be sheltered. I still can't get over the choice of name... "Scorchedracks"? Seriously? Does that sound like the name of a place anyone would want to visit? Unfortunately if I change it now I doubt the other immature assjacks workers would stay, they seemed pretty keen on it... idiots.

I've dug us a small burrow where we've set up a farm and a few beds.

Akhan-whatever is creeping me out a little. He's spending his entire time swinging his axe at... nothing. I think there's something wrong with him.

Events of the 27th of Galena,
Late-Summer of y.129

Kaela stood on the cliff, looking out to the ocean. The day's work was particularly gruelling, digging out for stone deep underground, and secretly she worried about their food and drink stockpiles, but watching the waves crash against the shore calmed her.

Everything was off to a good start. The beaches were lined with debris, and her plans for a nice beachfront may not pan out considering the sand was this strange, ugly shade of brown, but she would make it work. Yawning, she made her way back into the burrow. The new season was just around the corner, and there was still much to do.

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A decent start, and I'm guessing something will come up eventually. Plans for next entry will involve making a trade depot, floor plans, and getting the stills up and running.

An Open Letter About Pet Adoption During the Holidays

Dear readers,

Every year thousands of pets are sent to kennels because well-minded people adopt them, thinking they would make good gifts for their children and/or loved ones, not knowing what taking care of a pet is like.

These pets could have lived a long and happy life, but shortsightedness can kill them. Think before you adopt a pet; this may be an ephemeral decision for you, but for them it's their entire lives.

When you adopt, it's for life.

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays!

Jonathan

"Their first Christmas", "Their second Christmas", "Adoption is an informed act"
Image belongs to SPA Beauce-Etchemin, used without permission. (please contact me!)

Jo's Dwarf Fortress Beginner's Beginner Tips

Personally, I like [Dwarf Fortress] because after climbing the damned learning cliff, I'm too elitist to consider not liking it.
- Aklyon, Dwarf Fortress forums

It's like if Tolkien taught your Geology 101 class, but you were drunk and playing the Sims during the lecture. Then you had a dream that got them all confused.
- nbonaparte, Dwarf Fortress forums

So you want to learn how to play Dwarf Fortress, eh?

Oh you're in for a treat.

And by treat I mean torture.

Some people I've spoken to have shown an interest in learning this colossal leviathan of a game, and anyone who plays knows how daunting that task can be. I've decided then to help my fellow man (or anything you may identify with) by providing a small beginner's guide and some tips to get you started!

Get the Lazy Newb Pack

So what's the Lazy Newb Pack? Well the Dwarf Fortress game you get out-of-the-box is somewhat excruciatingly difficult to learn, and there are some things in the base game that even the community thinks are too hard to use to actually be useful or fun; the vanilla military management is a prime example of obfuscation and complicated...ness... The Lazy Newb Pack (LNP) is a self-contained package of many different mods and utilities that greatly help with the installation of the game. I myself download it whenever a new version comes out (I don't want to deal with re-installing the correct version of every third-party utility I use). You don't have to use all features and utilities, in fact I would recommend against it, but the basics are there.

EDIT: The Lazy Newb Pack is no longer maintained with the most recent versions of Dwarf Fortress... I would recommend looking on the wiki for the most recent equivalent. They're mostly built on the same backends, and I've tested them as of v0.44.12 and they work pretty well.

Speaking of utilities...

Get familiarised with Dwarf Therapist

Dwarf Therapist is a utility (comes with the LNP, don't download your own version) that allows you to view all your dwarves in a simple spreadsheet-like environment, and allows you to assign their jobs, save job profiles, etc. It's a must-have (since assigning jobs in the base game is a pain in the rear posterior ass) for anyone playing the game!

Accept defeat, and remember that Losing is Fun!

This part is probably the most important part of this post, and is where a lot of people struggle with Dwarf Fortress; I think that has to do with the expectations people have about Dwarf Fortress, and about their own skill progression. Sooner or later, you WILL lose a fortress to famine or dehydration. Sooner or later, you WILL lose a fortress to a siege that was too big to handle. Sooner or later, you WILL lose a fortress to the murderous clowns you unleashed from the circus by mining through cotton candy (it makes sense in context, just trust me on this one).

And sooner or later you WILL create a fortress in a safe land where nothing happens, and where you can overcome every obstacle the game throws at you.

And you WILL find it boring.

Dwarf Fortress is a game about struggles, about learning from your mistakes and overcoming them. It's about getting a little better every time, and becoming bolder as a result. It's about embarking on progressively harsher landscapes, and struggling to survive. And eventually, you build a fortress that works, and you retire it to build another one in harsher lands.

The unofficial tagline of the game is "Losing is Fun!" because the struggle makes the game, here, and trying to keep a fortress together when it all inevitably goes wrong is where the fun is. If that's not for you, if you don't like struggling and losing repeatedly as you slowly become better, then this game is not for you, and that's okay. Like I say repeatedly, DF is not for everyone.

If, however, all those things I mentioned above don't discourage you, and in fact seems enjoyable, then in DF you will find a deep and engaging game that will occupy your darkest hours in the night. You will find a vibrant community which will:

[...] routinely talk about kitten slaughter, the best methods to immolate creatures without destroying their stuff, or how to produce 'children' with personality problems beyond the dream of psychoanalysts but no one is going to insult your mother.
- hiroshi42, Dwarf Fortress forums

Find a (good) tutorial

Finally, I would suggest finding a lengthy tutorial. If you were expecting to find one here, well, I ain't gonna do that. Entire books have been written about how to play Dwarf Fortress (friends and colleagues: I carry my copy almost everywhere if you want to peruse it). I am always happy to provide information and help to anyone who needs it, but I simply do not have the time right now to write a whole tutorial.

Before looking for a tutorial online, you will have to remember that Dwarf Fortress is mainly a game about learning how to do stuff yourself, and as such most tutorials will teach just the basic controls and very basic fortress management strategies (such as digging, farming, military training, etc cetera), and that's okay.

With that in mind, I strongly suggest people take a look at The Complete and Utterly Newby Tutorial for Dwarf Fortress. It's how I started, and I think it's pretty great. It deals with an older version of Dwarf Fortress, which you can download directly from the site, but most of what it teaches is still relevant and required to know in the modern DF (which you'll get as part of the LNP, right?). It's a great starting point, and will teach you all the basics you'll need to get started!

So, in conclusion...

So that's it! I'll probably add on to this post as time goes by whenever I can think of something else that might help beginners. Let me know if you have any questions, I'll be happy to address them. Happy learning!

Jo's Top 6 Games of 2015

Every year, gamers are treated to a multitude of goodies (and, more frequently than not, baddies) developed by our gracious and greedy Market Masters. We have the occasion of playing dozens of games, and some of them serve to mark the year for us. Unfortunately, most of them fall deep into the oblivion of our memories, and we fail to remember the unremarkable. However, every year a select few games burst out of the pits of mediocracy and light up our year in a definitely positive manner.

With that said, I present to you a list of the 6 best games I discovered and played in 2015. (Why 6? Because fuck you that's why.) Note that this is not limited to games that came out in 2015, but are games I myself experienced in that year. And who knows, perhaps this will convince some of you to discover these games for yourselves in 2016!

(Also whenever possible I'll link screenshots from my miiverse account where I post a few sillystuffs and you can find it by following this link but whatever enjoy!)

6. Fantasy Life (Nintendo 3DS)

I feel that Fantasy Life can best be described as an action adventure RPG... with a twist! In Fantasy Life, you are a citizen of the land of Reveria who just got their first Life License (Life here being synonymous with "job", which is somewhat cynical now that I think about it). The game features a cute story along with some surprisingly deep RPG elements. You can play as one of twelve jobs (which you can change at almost any time) divided into three broad categories: combat (paladin, mercenary, hunter, and magician), gathering (miner, woodcutter, and angler), and maker (blacksmith, carpenter, tailor, alchemist, and chef).

The writing is definitely one of the high points in this game, with novels of dialog present in-game, containing a few gems worth remembering. A game for RPG fans, casual and hardcore alike.

5. The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask 3D (Nintendo 3DS)

I've actually hesitated to put The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D on this list. Not because it wasn't a good game, oh no, but I wondered whether it would be fair to put the 2015 remake of one of my all-time favourite games which originally came out in 2000, especially since I already pretty much knew what to expect. That being said, the reasons I always loved Majora's Mask were present in this remake, and the ability to now play the game on the go without having to setup my Nintendo 64 or my Wii make it easier to experience pretty much anytime, anywhere.

So basically, "The ability to play Majora's Mask whenever you feel like playing Majora's Mask" is what I'm really putting up here. If you've enjoyed the original game, or want to play an action-adventure game with a deep storyline and amazing atmosphere, buy this game!

Please don't leave your dog out in the rain, however, that's just plain irresponsible.

4. Cities: Skylines (PC)

paradoxplaza.com

Cities: Skylines is the SimCity game we deserved, but didn't know we needed. After the extremely disappointing release of SimCity (2013), Cities came as a breath of fresh air, and is a must-have for any fan of city-building games. As you take control of your city, more options unlock such as public transportation, industry specializations, districts, etc. The game gives you complete control on how to mould the city without feeling overwhelming in its complexity. Elegant and beautiful, this game is truly a work of art.

paradoxplaza.com

3. Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate (Nintendo 3DS)

Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate came out on the same day as Majora's Mask 3D, and my budget only allowed me to select one or the other, and I chose the former. What I expected was the usual Monster Hunter formula of hunting large and diverse monsters in an unforgiving world. What I did not expect, however, was to become this enthralled with the game. Elegant, beautiful (for the system on which it is played), and challenging, this is one game that keeps on giving. I've played over 100 hours on this game since March, and most of them on the bus or another form of public transport, and I only recently finished the single player campaign, and I have yet to start my foray into multiplayer. My 2015 3rd place winner is a must-have title for anyone owning a 3DS; get out there and start hunting!

2. Splatoon (WiiU)

I got Splatoon for my birthday in July, not long before my wife broke her collarbone, and it kept me company while she was recovering. Splatoon is basically a third-person multiplayer shooter... with a twist! You gain points by painting the map floors with your team's colour while preventing the other team from doing the same. Sure, you can kill (splat!) the other team players all day long, but the painted turf is all that matters when it comes to winning or losing. The game features multiple weapon classes along with equipment that grants you bonuses, and you can play it straight or using some pretty elaborate strategies if you want to. Never before has it been this fun to be a kid now, and a squid now, this game is just fun to play, and takes the 2nd place in my year's picks.

Get out there and paint.

1. Fallout 4 (played on XBox One)

fallout.wikia.com

Oh boy, Fallout 4. What can I say about this game? Can I talk about its absolutely fun gameplay? Or what about its well-written characters? When it was first announced in June, I hopped right aboard the hype train train (woo woo, round and round we go ok I'll stop now). I don't know how many times I've watched the gameplay trailer. And when I finally got my hands on it... I couldn't play because I was at work, but when I got home HOO BOY. I don't remember enjoying a game this much since The Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind, and that's saying something.

Throughout 2015, I played hundreds of hours of Splatoon and Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate. I reached that number within a month of receiving Fallout 4 (sorry love!). It felt like a game tailored specifically for me, and had everything I ever looked for in a game. The companion system evolved gracefully from previous games (including Bethesda's other flagship franchise, The Elder Scrolls), and having more than only two participants in a conversation really helped with the pacing of dialogues, which were no longer dry and grinding affairs between only two parties (Christ that could have been worded better). Your companions also occasionally chime in and give their two cents, either in conversation or while roaming around, giving everything a much more organic feel.

fallout.wikia.com

I've always loved building and customization in games, and the Fallout 4's settlement system gives me exactly that. While it can take some time getting used to, you can easily lose hours of your gaming session getting those settlements to look and function just right. The combat also has been improved, moving even further away from the previous semi-turn-based combat system (through VATS) and feeling much more energetic and active as a result. This has been praised by some and critiqued by others, but I feel it has definitely improved the experience than in previous games.

fallout.wikia.com

Add to those points a solid crafting system, respawning loot and enemies and bosses, so much stuff to explore and discover, a cold depressing atmosphere... There was no doubt in my head that Fallout 4 would rise to the top of my picks, and it definitely has left a mark on me. It might possibly be the best game I have ever played.

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Well, there you have it folks, my top picks for games I've played in 2015. I hope you've enjoyed this, let me know in the comments, and I will see you in my next post!