Fallout 76 B.E.T.A.: Impressions

IMPORTANT: I DON'T BELIEVE IN RETRACTIONS OR DELETION OF INFORMATION, AND I OWN UP TO WHAT I WRITE.

HOWEVER.

FALLOUT 76 IS AN ABSOLUTE PIECE OF SHIT AND I WAS SO WRONG IN WHAT I WROTE BELOW. I REGRET IT IMMENSELY.

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING NOT AS AN ACCURATE ASSESSMENT OF THE GAME, BUT RATHER AT HOW BLINDED SOMEONE CAN BE WHEN THEY REALLY WANT SOMETHING TO BE GOOD. FEEL FREE TO MOCK ANY AND EVERY PART OF THIS.

SINCERE APOLOGIES TO ANYONE WHO READ THIS AND SUBSEQUENTLY BOUGHT THE GAME.

Coppercapped, Spring of Year 177

There is a knock on the mayor's door. She rubs the bridge of her wide nose; probably another one of the idiot workers here to bother her with some trivial bother.

Mayor Utib Atkob: What is it, Bekar?

Bekar Taranunul the farmhand walks into the dimly-lit room. The dwarf is dirty and smells strongly of alcohol.

Farmhand Bekar Taranunul: Ma'am, pardon the intrusion, but our brewery is churning out alcohol faster than we can drink it.
Mayor Utib Atkob: That's the opposite of a problem.
Farmhand Bekar Taranunul: Well, we brewed everything edible in the fortress.
Mayor Utib Atkob: ...
Mayor Utib Atkob: Tell me, how many puppies do we have?
Farmhand Bekar Taranunul: Ma'am?
Mayor Utib Atkob: How many puppies do we currently have?
Farmhand Bekar Taranunul: About seventeen, why?
Mayor Utib Atkob: Well there's your solution.
Farmhand Bekar Taranunul: Excuse me? Are you suggesting we butcher innocent puppies?

This would be a recurring problem, and Utib was aware of it. Like most issues, she resolved them the way she best knew how.

Mayor Utib Atkob: Congratulations, you've been promoted to the axedwarf squad.
Axedwarf Bekar Taranunul: Isn't that the squad that keeps dying under mysterious circumstances?
Mayor Utib Atkob: Have fun and leave me alone.