Monday, December 12, 2016

An Open Letter About Pet Adoption During the Holidays

Dear readers,

Every year thousands of pets are sent to kennels because well-minded people adopt them, thinking they would make good gifts for their children and/or loved ones, not knowing what taking care of a pet is like.

These pets could have lived a long and happy life, but shortsightedness can kill them. Think before you adopt a pet; this may be an ephemeral decision for you, but for them it's their entire lives.

When you adopt, it's for life.

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays!
Jonathan

"Their first Christmas", "Their second Christmas", "Adoption is an informed act"
Image belongs to SPA Beauce-Etchemin, used without permission. (please contact me!)

Monday, October 31, 2016

Jo's Dwarf Fortress Beginner's Beginner Tips

Personally, I like [Dwarf Fortress] because after climbing the damned learning cliff, I'm too elitist to consider not liking it.
- Aklyon, Dwarf Fortress forums
It's like if Tolkien taught your Geology 101 class, but you were drunk and playing the Sims during the lecture. Then you had a dream that got them all confused.
- nbonaparte, Dwarf Fortress forums
So you want to learn how to play Dwarf Fortress, eh?

Oh you're in for a treat.

And by treat I mean torture.

Some people I've spoken to have shown an interest in learning this colossal leviathan of a game, and anyone who plays knows how daunting that task can be. I've decided then to help my fellow man (or anything you may identify with) by providing a small beginner's guide and some tips to get you started!

Get the Lazy Newb Pack


So what's the Lazy Newb Pack? Well the Dwarf Fortress game you get out-of-the-box is somewhat excruciatingly difficult to learn, and there are some things in the base game that even the community thinks are too hard to use to actually be useful or fun; the vanilla military management is a prime example of obfuscation and complicated...ness... The Lazy Newb Pack (LNP) is a self-contained package of many different mods and utilities that greatly help with the installation of the game. I myself download it whenever a new version comes out (I don't want to deal with re-installing the correct version of every third-party utility I use). You don't have to use all features and utilities, in fact I would recommend against it, but the basics are there.

EDIT: The Lazy Newb Pack is no longer maintained with the most recent versions of Dwarf Fortress... I would recommend looking on the wiki for the most recent equivalent. They're mostly built on the same backends, and I've tested them as of v0.44.12 and they work pretty well.

Speaking of utilities...

Get familiarised with Dwarf Therapist


Dwarf Therapist is a utility (comes with the LNP, don't download your own version) that allows you to view all your dwarves in a simple spreadsheet-like environment, and allows you to assign their jobs, save job profiles, etc. It's a must-have (since assigning jobs in the base game is a pain in the rear posterior ass) for anyone playing the game!

Accept defeat, and remember that Losing is Fun!


This part is probably the most important part of this post, and is where a lot of people struggle with Dwarf Fortress; I think that has to do with the expectations people have about Dwarf Fortress, and about their own skill progression. Sooner or later, you WILL lose a fortress to famine or dehydration. Sooner or later, you WILL lose a fortress to a siege that was too big to handle. Sooner or later, you WILL lose a fortress to the murderous clowns you unleashed from the circus by mining through cotton candy (it makes sense in context, just trust me on this one).

And sooner or later you WILL create a fortress in a safe land where nothing happens, and where you can overcome every obstacle the game throws at you.

And you WILL find it boring.

Dwarf Fortress is a game about struggles, about learning from your mistakes and overcoming them. It's about getting a little better every time, and becoming bolder as a result. It's about embarking on progressively harsher landscapes, and struggling to survive. And eventually, you build a fortress that works, and you retire it to build another one in harsher lands.

The unofficial tagline of the game is "Losing is Fun!" because the struggle makes the game, here, and trying to keep a fortress together when it all inevitably goes wrong is where the fun is. If that's not for you, if you don't like struggling and losing repeatedly as you slowly become better, then this game is not for you, and that's okay. Like I say repeatedly, DF is not for everyone.

If, however, all those things I mentioned above don't discourage you, and in fact seems enjoyable, then in DF you will find a deep and engaging game that will occupy your darkest hours in the night. You will find a vibrant community which will:
[...] routinely talk about kitten slaughter, the best methods to immolate creatures without destroying their stuff, or how to produce 'children' with personality problems beyond the dream of psychoanalysts but no one is going to insult your mother.
- hiroshi42, Dwarf Fortress forums

Find a (good) tutorial


Finally, I would suggest finding a lengthy tutorial. If you were expecting to find one here, well, I ain't gonna do that. Entire books have been written about how to play Dwarf Fortress (friends and colleagues: I carry my copy almost everywhere if you want to peruse it). I am always happy to provide information and help to anyone who needs it, but I simply do not have the time right now to write a whole tutorial.

Before looking for a tutorial online, you will have to remember that Dwarf Fortress is mainly a game about learning how to do stuff yourself, and as such most tutorials will teach just the basic controls and very basic fortress management strategies (such as digging, farming, military training, etc cetera), and that's okay.

With that in mind, I strongly suggest people take a look at The Complete and Utterly Newby Tutorial for Dwarf Fortress. It's how I started, and I think it's pretty great. It deals with an older version of Dwarf Fortress, which you can download directly from the site, but most of what it teaches is still relevant and required to know in the modern DF (which you'll get as part of the LNP, right?). It's a great starting point, and will teach you all the basics you'll need to get started!

So, in conclusion...


So that's it! I'll probably add on to this post as time goes by whenever I can think of something else that might help beginners. Let me know if you have any questions, I'll be happy to address them. Happy learning!

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Jo's Top 6 Games of 2015

Every year, gamers are treated to a multitude of goodies (and, more frequently than not, baddies) developed by our gracious and greedy Market Masters. We have the occasion of playing dozens of games, and some of them serve to mark the year for us. Unfortunately, most of them fall deep into the oblivion of our memories, and we fail to remember the unremarkable. However, every year a select few games burst out of the pits of mediocracy and light up our year in a definitely positive manner.

With that said, I present to you a list of the 6 best games I discovered and played in 2015. (Why 6? Because fuck you that's why.) Note that this is not limited to games that came out in 2015, but are games I myself experienced in that year. And who knows, perhaps this will convince some of you to discover these games for yourselves in 2016!


(Also whenever possible I'll link screenshots from my miiverse account where I post a few sillystuffs and you can find it by following this link but whatever enjoy!)

6. Fantasy Life (Nintendo 3DS)


I feel that Fantasy Life can best be described as an action adventure RPG... with a twist! In Fantasy Life, you are a citizen of the land of Reveria who just got their first Life License (Life here being synonymous with "job", which is somewhat cynical now that I think about it). The game features a cute story along with some surprisingly deep RPG elements. You can play as one of twelve jobs (which you can change at almost any time) divided into three broad categories: combat (paladin, mercenary, hunter, and magician), gathering (miner, woodcutter, and angler), and maker (blacksmith, carpenter, tailor, alchemist, and chef).


The writing is definitely one of the high points in this game, with novels of dialog present in-game, containing a few gems worth remembering. A game for RPG fans, casual and hardcore alike.


5. The Legend of Zelda: Majoras Mask 3D (Nintendo 3DS)


I've actually hesitated to put The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D on this list. Not because it wasn't a good game, oh no, but I wondered whether it would be fair to put the 2015 remake of one of my all-time favourite games which originally came out in 2000, especially since I already pretty much knew what to expect. That being said, the reasons I always loved Majora's Mask were present in this remake, and the ability to now play the game on the go without having to setup my Nintendo 64 or my Wii make it easier to experience pretty much anytime, anywhere.

So basically, "The ability to play Majora's Mask whenever you feel like playing Majora's Mask" is what I'm really putting up here. If you've enjoyed the original game, or want to play an action-adventure game with a deep storyline and amazing atmosphere, buy this game!

Please don't leave your dog out in the rain, however, that's just plain irresponsible.

4. Cities: Skylines (PC)

paradoxplaza.com
Cities: Skylines is the SimCity game we deserved, but didn't know we needed. After the extremely disappointing release of SimCity (2013), Cities came as a breath of fresh air, and is a must-have for any fan of city-building games. As you take control of your city, more options unlock such as public transportation, industry specializations, districts, etc. The game gives you complete control on how to mould the city without feeling overwhelming in its complexity. Elegant and beautiful, this game is truly a work of art.

paradoxplaza.com

3. Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate (Nintendo 3DS)


Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate came out on the same day as Majora's Mask 3D, and my budget only allowed me to select one or the other, and I chose the former. What I expected was the usual Monster Hunter formula of hunting large and diverse monsters in an unforgiving world. What I did not expect, however, was to become this enthralled with the game. Elegant, beautiful (for the system on which it is played), and challenging, this is one game that keeps on giving. I've played over 100 hours on this game since March, and most of them on the bus or another form of public transport, and I only recently finished the single player campaign, and I have yet to start my foray into multiplayer. My 2015 3rd place winner is a must-have title for anyone owning a 3DS; get out there and start hunting!


2. Splatoon (WiiU)


I got Splatoon for my birthday in July, not long before my wife broke her collarbone, and it kept me company while she was recovering. Splatoon is basically a third-person multiplayer shooter... with a twist! You gain points by painting the map floors with your team's colour while preventing the other team from doing the same. Sure, you can kill (splat!) the other team players all day long, but the painted turf is all that matters when it comes to winning or losing. The game features multiple weapon classes along with equipment that grants you bonuses, and you can play it straight or using some pretty elaborate strategies if you want to. Never before has it been this fun to be a kid now, and a squid now, this game is just fun to play, and takes the 2nd place in my year's picks.

Get out there and paint.

1. Fallout 4 (played on XBox One)

fallout.wikia.com
Oh boy, Fallout 4. What can I say about this game? Can I talk about its absolutely fun gameplay? Or what about its well-written characters? When it was first announced in June, I hopped right aboard the hype train train (woo woo, round and round we go ok I'll stop now). I don't know how many times I've watched the gameplay trailer. And when I finally got my hands on it... I couldn't play because I was at work, but when I got home HOO BOY. I don't remember enjoying a game this much since The Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind, and that's saying something.

Throughout 2015, I played hundreds of hours of Splatoon and Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate. I reached that number within a month of receiving Fallout 4 (sorry love!). It felt like a game tailored specifically for me, and had everything I ever looked for in a game. The companion system evolved gracefully from previous games (including Bethesda's other flagship franchise, The Elder Scrolls), and having more than only two participants in a conversation really helped with the pacing of dialogues, which were no longer dry and grinding affairs between only two parties (Christ that could have been worded better). Your companions also occasionally chime in and give their two cents, either in conversation or while roaming around, giving everything a much more organic feel.

fallout.wikia.com
I've always loved building and customization in games, and the Fallout 4's settlement system gives me exactly that. While it can take some time getting used to, you can easily lose hours of your gaming session getting those settlements to look and function just right. The combat also has been improved, moving even further away from the previous semi-turn-based combat system (through VATS) and feeling much more energetic and active as a result. This has been praised by some and critiqued by others, but I feel it has definitely improved the experience than in previous games.

fallout.wikia.com
Add to those points a solid crafting system, respawning loot and enemies and bosses, so much stuff to explore and discover, a cold depressing atmosphere... There was no doubt in my head that Fallout 4 would rise to the top of my picks, and it definitely has left a mark on me. It might possibly be the best game I have ever played.

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Well, there you have it folks, my top picks for games I've played in 2015. I hope you've enjoyed this, let me know in the comments, and I will see you in my next post!

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

DF: An American Werekangaroo in Locunmisten (Part 2)

I apologize for the lack of screenshots in this update, it’s just… well, you’ll see.

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Mid-Summer, Year 105


Some merchants have finally arrived from the nearby human settlement, and they brought with them some much-needed supplies. The exotic fruits and animals we purchased will fill our bellies for months to come, or will provide some much-needed entertainment; my fellow countrymen are getting tired, and wary, and that makes them edgy, prone to accidents.

I’ve ordered the courtyard to be extended towards the end of our territory. I intend to build this fortress under- and above-ground, and such a passageway could then be smoothed, paved, and lined with statues. Locunmisten shall be more glorious than our own Mountainhome!

Late-Summer, Year 105 


“The Werekangaroo Nguslu Kutsmobogu has come! A large kangaroo twisted into humanoid form. It is crazed for blood and flesh. Its eyes grow green. Its sepia hair is long and shaggy. Now you will know why you fear the night."

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT??

This… this abomination has appeared near the edge of our fortress. The creature immediately set upon a stray yak bull and my fellow woodworker Tholtig, tearing them apart. It then started chasing Lolor back to the fortress, and managed to bite off his hand before the human caravan guards attacked the beast. They fought bravely, and in the end they slew the fell beast, but not before having one of their own brutally mauled.

The loss of Tholtig will weight heavy on our hearts, but Lolor’s mauling will hurt us more in the long-run; we’re already swimming in wood logs, and I can pick up the slack in terms of woodcrafting, but losing a farmer would be devastating. I hope he survives...

Late-Summer, Year 105


The attack yesterday has brought our glaring lack of protection into light. Whether the Werekangaroo knew we were here or whether it wandered here on its own is of little consequence; ask Tholtig. I think Lolor will survive, thank Armok, but with the merchants leaving we will soon be defenceless.

Late-Summer, Year 105


Lolor just turned into a fucking Werekangaroo, right in the middle of the FUCKING DINING HALL, where EVERYONE WAS EATING. He immediately set upon a dog, tearing it apart, and then attacked Sarvesh and Eshtan, ripping them apart. I couldn’t do much, and may Armok forgive me, but I ordered the doors to the dining hall locked, trying to save the rest of the fortress. Vabok was still inside...

I will wait, and hopefully Lolor will starve in there. There’s nothing we can do for him if he’s going to turn and kill us all. I’m sorry Vabok. I’m sorry everyone. We will make sure your sacrifices will not be in vain.

Early-Autumn, Year 105


All is lost.

I thought that by locking that monster within the dining hall, ironically devoid of food or water, would solve our problems long enough for migrants to arrive, but the creature tore the door down like it was paper. Poor Bim… he tried to run, but the Werekangaroo picked him up, and like a rag doll shook him around until he literally broke apart.

I locked myself in my room with some supplies, but I know there is no escape. Perhaps I can wait for Lolor to turn back into dwarf, and maybe I can make a run for it, but I can hear it pacing outside of my door. Any moment now, it’s going to tear down my door...

Any moment now...


The next few pages of the tome are drenched in blood. having seemingly laid in it for some time. The librarian claims it was brought back to the Mountainhome by some beast-man, and you are inclined to believe her. What is certain now is that there is likely no survivors left of Locunmisten, and that the fort’s history will eventually be lost in the annals of time, an unremarkable and forgotten mark on the world...

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Well that was... definitely the shortest-lived fortress I've managed. I thought that megabeases such as the Werekangaroo would take longer to show up, so I delayed setting up defences, but I guess I was wrong...

As you can see above, a dwarf bitten by a werebeast has a large chance of changing into a werebeast themselves, rapidly causing the death of everyone within your fortress.

So that's it for Locunmisten! That was much shorter than what I was hoping for, so I may post other fortresses, or perhaps just short Dwarf Fortress stories, we'll see. I'm currently working on another fortress (in order to get a feel for the most recent version of DF), and I'm also cooking up something for the TS4 series I've got, so, Beautiful Reader, stay tuned!

J

Friday, October 2, 2015

DF: Welcome to Locunmisten (Part 1)

A quick note for you, Beautiful Reader, before we begin. You may notice me changing the style of the blog a few times. I'm just trying to find something that goes well with what I'm writing, but that is also easy on the eyes. Enjoy!

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You pick up the old, leather-bound tome. It feels heavy and fragile, as though it would dissolve into dust at the faintest breeze. It is encircled with bands of iron and decorated with ash wood. On the item is an image of dwarves in granite. The dwarves are travelling. The artwork relates to the founding of Locunmisten by Tulon Uzoludist in 105.

The writing inside the tome is ornate, precise, and densely packed, although not much of the tome seems filled, and a sizeable portion of it looks stained in blood. It is with a scholar’s mind that you sit down, ready to read the story of Locunmisten.

Early Winter, Year 104


It’s been seven months since graduation and I’m finally ready to receive my first Overseer assignment. About time, too; sitting around with my thumbs up my ass was getting old. Clerical work isn’t too bad, and they got me chopping wood for the winter, but I want to leave my mark on the world, and I didn’t spend 5 years studying to make tables and chairs.

Of course, I have to write an Overseer’s journal to keep a record of how everything will go. Failure to do so, I was told, would result in severe, umm, “hammerings”.

Early Winter, Year 104


I finally got the list of the six dwarves that will make the journey with me. The others each have various areas of expertise, but I don’t think that will be the most efficient use of their talents. I think I'll streamline the various jobs into broad categories:



I’ve highlighted my own name for clarity’s sake, and I guess I’ll be working as a woodworker for the time being. Everyone has to pitch in, after all.

Note: For this first part, there will be a few notes I will jot down to help newcomers understand what is happening in the game. Those of you familiar to the game can skip those if you want, and those not interested in playing can skip the tips I put there; however, reading the notes will still help you understand. The image above shows an app called Dwarf Therapist which helps with assigning jobs to dwarves.
Tip: Although there are many ways of defining jobs, there does not seem to be any single “right” way of doing this. I prefer to have dwarves sorted into broad categories instead of having over-specialized dwarves, but that’s not really the norm from what I’ve seen. Don’t worry too much about job specialties: you can always change them later!

That list was given to me directly by the queen, by Zasit Fucking Betandodok. I always thought she was an ineffectual diplomat, and the meeting only confirmed it; she seemed only half-interested, and ended the discussion with “Ok, see ya, don’t get yourself killed too soon.” Regardless, she said I would be the first Overseer of the Locunmisten outpost - or “Riseportals” in the common tongue - and I’ll be damned if it won’t grow to be the greatest outpost that stuck-up noble has ever seen. She mentioned something about there being lots of trees, and to be wary of angering elves or something, but I wasn’t paying too much attention at that point.

We’re leaving two days from now, I’ll update you when we get there.

Early Spring, Year 105





After two months of trekking through the mountains West of here, we finally made it to the site. Now that I’m here, I’m not too certain about the site. There’s a large hill to the West, towards the mountains, but there are a lot of trees. Whatever, for better or worse, this is where Locunmisten will rise.

Early Spring, Year 105


Yesterday I’ve surveyed the site a bit, and I think we’ll create the fortress opening slightly lower than where we ended up stopping. I’ll dig out a courtyard at a later date. Maybe this’ll help defend the fortress from the local kobold tribes.


Note: Ok, there are quite a few things I need to point out in the above image. First of all, in the lower-right corner you’ll see a number, 144. This is the current z-level, or height; 143 is one level below, and 145 is one level above. Second, pay attention to the rest of the screen, since there will be many recurring items. First, the two brown circles near the bottom of the open area are tree trunks (in fact, there’s a woodcutter next to the right-most one). Next, the black area is undiscovered, un-dug rock or soil. The coloured blocks surrounding the open area are walls, and by the colour we can see that the top half is soil while the bottom half is clay (not really important to know). The green triangles you see are ramps, meaning that there is a slope at that location to the above levels. Finally, the brown line extending to the left is a designated area for digging. Miners, when available, will dig those blocks.



I’ve also asked Tholtig (the other woodcutter) to survey the area for any wild beasts, and he came back and told me that the surrounding land is peaceful, save for a small roaming family of pigs. I’ll have to keep an eye out for those.

Mid-Spring, Year 105




About a month and a half has gone by, and we’re doing pretty well. I asked the miners to dig out a passage way to the front gate for protection, and it went pretty well. We’re drowning in wood logs, and so I think we’ll have no problem creating bins and barrels in the future.



I’ve created a carpenter’s shop and placed orders doors and beds. I’ll create a small dorm near the entrance: Overseeing Management Principles Vol. 1 states that those dorms are useful and can be repurposed as barracks later on.

Mid-Spring, Year 105




Disaster struck today. While digging out the courtyard, a portion of the ceiling a miner was standing on collapsed. A rock fell on my head, and the miner got his chest crushed, but I think we’ll be okay.



Late-Spring, Year 105




We’re almost done with spring, and so I’ve asked the miners to dig out some places for farms. We’ll grow some plump helmets first, those delicious mushrooms, and see if we can maybe grow some dimple cups later on. So far, food is not a worry, although alcohol is making itself scarce, and we’re surrounded with vegetation so we can live off of scavenging for the time being.



And with that, summer has arrived.